Wedding Regrets

I constantly hear people talking about how they regret not hiring a certain D.J. or regret not hiring a photographer or regret not having a bigger venue for their wedding.  I hear of people who had a court house wedding and regret not having something more traditional.  But how often do we hear about people who regret doing things the traditional way and wish they would have been more non-traditional?  Not often.  I'm one of those people though.

We had the church ceremony more-so because it's what was the norm and it was what other people wanted.  I really hated the idea of putting on a show for other people though.  The love that my husband and I shared (and continue to share and grows over ten years later) had almost zero to do with anyone else, and we certainly didn't need to put on a big production just to show others how much we loved each other.  But for the sake of tradition, that's what we did.  I bought a nice, traditional dress off the clearance rack.  He rented a tux.  My veil was a thrift store find.  The church was the one we both attended, thus it was a free venue.  We threw some faux flower arrangements together and my mother made a simple wedding cake.  Our photographer was a friend from college and the videographer was my parents' old camcorder set up on a tripod.  Everything was as simple and as inexpensive as possible.  I just wasn't into the show.  I wanted to marry the man that I loved and couldn't give two craps about the details.

I wish I could successfully convey to other couples that if you want the big production.... that's awesome.  Go for it.  It can be so fun to share that experience with friends and family.  But don't ever feel like you missed out if you didn't do the big production.  A marriage is an intimate, passionate, personal, private relationship between two people.  The wedding doesn't have to be any different.  I regret making myself do a big show for other people (even though it wasn't that big) when all I wanted to do was have a private moment with the man I loved to vow to him that I was gonna continue to love him like that, and more, for the rest of our lives.  Our marriage today wouldn't be any different either way.