They Are Only Little Once

For years, I've fantasized about how much easier life was going to be when all three kids were in school.  I was going to be able to return to work, go back to school myself, enjoy grocery shopping without three little helpers, start a more routine exercise regimen, etc, etc.  And I AM excited about those things, but I'm quickly realizing that it's not that simple.  For the last almost 7 years, I've had the opportunity to be with my kids 24/7.  Even when I worked full-time, I worked evenings and Billy worked mornings so that one of us was always home.  I've got to be with them all day everyday their whole lives.  Monday, they start school.  All three of them.  The day I've been dreaming about for years...... but now it's the day I'm dreading. 

I'm so happy and proud of them.  And I know I'll love a couple days of having the house to myself and doing things I can't usually do with three kids in tow.  It'll be a nice break.  But then I realize that starting Monday, this will be the way it is from now until they leave for college.  No more deciding at the drop of a hat that we want to go get Chinese for lunch.  No more sneaking off for a family vacation in the middle of the week if we want to.  No more going to the zoo in the middle of a week day because it's not as busy during that time.  No more of that.  No more of just us time.  Why?  Because they'll be in school.  For the next 14 years, we'll be on the school's schedule about everything.  My precious little babies will spend more time at school with their teacher and their friends than they will at home with me.  School first thing in the morning, then by the time school is out it's homework, dinner, bath and bed.  Where did the time go?  They were just little babies and in the blink of an eye, they are independent little school-aged children that don't need their mom around anymore.  They have teachers and friends and more interesting stories to share about their day than I do!  lol 

I'm just not ready.  Everyone told me this is how I'd feel, and although I believed them, until you actually feel it, it's not something you can truly comprehend.  I am SOOOO thankful that I had the opportunity to be a SAHM with them the majority of their baby/toddler years.  I'm so glad I didn't take it for granted.  They are only little once, and I was blessed enough to get to enjoy it while it lasted.  They are still little, but growing up faster and faster each day.

*sniffle*  That was quite the incoherent ramble.  :)  Sorry about that.