In only TWO MONTHS we'll finally be headed to Disney. I started first researching this family vacation in the Spring of 2012. It seems like FOREVER ago! By the time we actually complete the vacation though, I think I may be considered an expert!
The hotel is reserved, the rental car is reserved, the airline tickets are paid for and the CityPass tickets are safely tucked away in the designated "Disney" folder. Everything is just sitting there waiting to actually be ready to go. To say that I'm super excited would be an understatement. I know it's cheezy to say, but I've literally been waiting my WHOLE LIFE for this moment. We're going. We're really going. I'm going to see the princesses castle. I'm going to get to hug Mickey Mouse. I'm going to wear Mickey ears and it be completely socially accepted. I'm going to interact with Tinker Bell and ride on Magic Mountain. It's going to be epic. Really epic. And then all the adventures of simply being in California. I'm going to dip my toes into the ocean and watch the kids jump over the waves. They've never experienced that before. It's truly going to be an amazing vacation. I just. can't. wait.
I'll have to though. *pout face*
Friday, July 5, 2013
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
The Big 3-0
I constantly get weird looks when I tell people that I'm so excited to be 30. Why shouldn't I be though?! Getting older is a natural progression of life and the opportunity to celebrate another year just means that I'm still needed on this planet. My time isn't up yet.
I may be a little more eager than some to leave my 20's behind. It was quite the decade, filled with great memories and not so great memories. Billy and I bought our first house; we welcomed our first born son; Billy joined the military; we welcomed our precious baby girl; we moved with the military and welcomed another bouncing baby boy. It was an exciting few years. I was near death after a medical procedure went wrong; we were in a car wreck with all three kids in the car a few weeks after that; our marriage made it through a lot of ups, downs and separations due to the military; we bought a house and we started to plant some roots. It was quite the roller coaster. I went back to school several times - which was filled with it's own successes and failures. Billy left the military and we made it through a very scary time of unemployment. I've been a stay-at-home mom, a working mom and now back to a stay-at-home mom again. I was diagnosed and treated for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I went through some heavy stuff, but came out the other side of it with a new understanding of life and family. All of that, and countless more experiences, in just a span of 10 years. I look at all of that everyday with the unwavering sense that it was all part of a bigger picture. If God did all of that for me, with me, through me in just my 20's; I can't wait to see what He has in store for me and my family these next ten years.
So THAT is why I'm excited to be thirty. I'm ready to embrace all the lessons my 20's taught me. I'm thankful to see all of my blessings continue to grow. I'm eager to say goodbye to the failures and the struggles. I'm ready to see what I can do with the knowledge and perspective I received because of those failures and struggles. It really does seem like this completely different chapter for me. I'm excited. I'm anxious. I have limitless ideals, goals and plans for my future. Thirty is going to be fantastic. And even if it's not, I'll find a way to MAKE it fantastic.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.
I may be a little more eager than some to leave my 20's behind. It was quite the decade, filled with great memories and not so great memories. Billy and I bought our first house; we welcomed our first born son; Billy joined the military; we welcomed our precious baby girl; we moved with the military and welcomed another bouncing baby boy. It was an exciting few years. I was near death after a medical procedure went wrong; we were in a car wreck with all three kids in the car a few weeks after that; our marriage made it through a lot of ups, downs and separations due to the military; we bought a house and we started to plant some roots. It was quite the roller coaster. I went back to school several times - which was filled with it's own successes and failures. Billy left the military and we made it through a very scary time of unemployment. I've been a stay-at-home mom, a working mom and now back to a stay-at-home mom again. I was diagnosed and treated for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I went through some heavy stuff, but came out the other side of it with a new understanding of life and family. All of that, and countless more experiences, in just a span of 10 years. I look at all of that everyday with the unwavering sense that it was all part of a bigger picture. If God did all of that for me, with me, through me in just my 20's; I can't wait to see what He has in store for me and my family these next ten years.
So THAT is why I'm excited to be thirty. I'm ready to embrace all the lessons my 20's taught me. I'm thankful to see all of my blessings continue to grow. I'm eager to say goodbye to the failures and the struggles. I'm ready to see what I can do with the knowledge and perspective I received because of those failures and struggles. It really does seem like this completely different chapter for me. I'm excited. I'm anxious. I have limitless ideals, goals and plans for my future. Thirty is going to be fantastic. And even if it's not, I'll find a way to MAKE it fantastic.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.
Monday, April 22, 2013
Success!
As I eagerly cracked open my fortune cookie to read what positive insight Confucius might have for me today, this is what I got. The "someday" was a bit of a let down. I'll be successful..... someday. I guess I should optimistically assume that someday could very well be today! But then I realized the irony of this "good fortune". I guess proper spelling is not a part of my successful future endeavors.
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
This is What I Choose
Every job I've ever had, I hit this road block at about 18 months. By then, I know my job and I do it well. I've figured out all the tips and secrets. I've got the routines down to an art. I could do every detail of my job in my sleep if I needed to. The problem is that I get complacent and bored. Waldenbooks? 18 months and I moved on to the medical field. Sandpiper Bay Retirement and Nursing Home? 18 months and I started looking for a different location. Haysville Healthcare Center? 18 months and I stopped working to follow my husband with the Air Force. I was a stay-at-home mom for 6 years. When my husband separated from the Air Force though, it was time to return to the workforce. I started working with the school district..... wait for it.... 18 months ago.
I have no problems with work. I like to work! I have wonderful work ethic and am very devoted to my place of employment. When I'm working though, I'm so devoted to my job that I sacrifice time with my family. I'm a great multi-tasker within my daily routine, but for some reason I can only do one thing really well at a time. Since someone is paying me and investing a lot of time/money into me at a job - I feel some kind of obligation to give them the majority of my efforts. That job is the one thing I do really well while my family gets what's left over. <---- That breaks my heart. Some people are fantastic at balancing work-life and family-life. They are super employee from 9 - 5 and super mom from 5 - 9 I'm, unfortunately, just not one of those people.
Looking back at all the things I've done, I always get bored and start itching to move on. The one thing I never itched at though? Motherhood. Being with my family. It's the only "job" I've ever done for longer than 18 months and didn't get bored. I never hit that rut of feeling like I'm not growing or that I'm not making enough of an impact. I think it's because parenthood is always changing and I'm always having to figure out new things. The "job" of being a parent never stays the same for long. Just as I start to master one skill, the kids get another year older, encounter new things/people and I have to keep up.
If I'm going to do one thing really well - I choose my family. Which is what makes me say with confidence and with no regrets that I'm going to resign from my job and be a stay-at-home mom/wife. I'm going to be 30 this year and it's time to focus on us as a family. I want to be there for school plays, parent teacher conferences and to help with school projects. I want to be available at the drop of a hat to talk, cuddle, discipline or console. I want to be able to sneak away and have lunch with my husband while the kids are at school. I also want time to figure out who Glenna is! This could be my time to go back to college, volunteer and get more active with the kids' school and our church. There is just so much I can be devoting my life to other than a paycheck. That is what I choose for me.
I have no problems with work. I like to work! I have wonderful work ethic and am very devoted to my place of employment. When I'm working though, I'm so devoted to my job that I sacrifice time with my family. I'm a great multi-tasker within my daily routine, but for some reason I can only do one thing really well at a time. Since someone is paying me and investing a lot of time/money into me at a job - I feel some kind of obligation to give them the majority of my efforts. That job is the one thing I do really well while my family gets what's left over. <---- That breaks my heart. Some people are fantastic at balancing work-life and family-life. They are super employee from 9 - 5 and super mom from 5 - 9 I'm, unfortunately, just not one of those people.
Looking back at all the things I've done, I always get bored and start itching to move on. The one thing I never itched at though? Motherhood. Being with my family. It's the only "job" I've ever done for longer than 18 months and didn't get bored. I never hit that rut of feeling like I'm not growing or that I'm not making enough of an impact. I think it's because parenthood is always changing and I'm always having to figure out new things. The "job" of being a parent never stays the same for long. Just as I start to master one skill, the kids get another year older, encounter new things/people and I have to keep up.
If I'm going to do one thing really well - I choose my family. Which is what makes me say with confidence and with no regrets that I'm going to resign from my job and be a stay-at-home mom/wife. I'm going to be 30 this year and it's time to focus on us as a family. I want to be there for school plays, parent teacher conferences and to help with school projects. I want to be available at the drop of a hat to talk, cuddle, discipline or console. I want to be able to sneak away and have lunch with my husband while the kids are at school. I also want time to figure out who Glenna is! This could be my time to go back to college, volunteer and get more active with the kids' school and our church. There is just so much I can be devoting my life to other than a paycheck. That is what I choose for me.
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Planning a Vacation..... Optimistically!
Holy freakin' cow is it difficult to plan an extravagant family vacation for 5! Not that it's that "extravagant", but we want to do a lot of things. We're going to California and, for the first time EVER in my life, we're going to Disney! None of us have ever seen Cinderella's castle nor hugged Mickey Mouse. I'm so excited that there are no words to even begin to capture how I feel. Planning it all out though?! Wow. It's a lot of work.
I've spent the last year researching, weighing the pros and cons, building a budget and various other tasks. I have several books on my nightstand and countless blogs pinned on my pinterest account. There is just so much information! Which is both wonderful and overwhelming. The more I look and dig though, the more I find.
We're finally starting the process of purchasing airline tickets, hotel rooms and attraction admission. It's exciting and nerve-racking all at the same time. I'm thrilled to go on the hunt for deals and discounts. It's probably my favorite part about planning and what has taken me the most time in my research. For instance, our bank offers rental car discounts; I found "CityPASS" that is going to save us $600 on the price of our attraction tickets and I got a great deal on airline tickets after researching when the perfect time to buy is. It's so much fun! Others may find the word "obnoxious" more appropriate, but it's all one in the same in my book.
I've been obsessed with this Disney trip since last spring. I'm sure everyone is sick of hearing about it by now. You think I'm bad today though? Just you wait until I actually go! I'll have blogs galore about how fantastic it was. Get ready for videos of me crying because I'm so happy while the kids (and husband) are in the background staring at me like I'm crazy.
I've spent the last year researching, weighing the pros and cons, building a budget and various other tasks. I have several books on my nightstand and countless blogs pinned on my pinterest account. There is just so much information! Which is both wonderful and overwhelming. The more I look and dig though, the more I find.
We're finally starting the process of purchasing airline tickets, hotel rooms and attraction admission. It's exciting and nerve-racking all at the same time. I'm thrilled to go on the hunt for deals and discounts. It's probably my favorite part about planning and what has taken me the most time in my research. For instance, our bank offers rental car discounts; I found "CityPASS" that is going to save us $600 on the price of our attraction tickets and I got a great deal on airline tickets after researching when the perfect time to buy is. It's so much fun! Others may find the word "obnoxious" more appropriate, but it's all one in the same in my book.
I've been obsessed with this Disney trip since last spring. I'm sure everyone is sick of hearing about it by now. You think I'm bad today though? Just you wait until I actually go! I'll have blogs galore about how fantastic it was. Get ready for videos of me crying because I'm so happy while the kids (and husband) are in the background staring at me like I'm crazy.
Saturday, December 29, 2012
Friday, December 7, 2012
I Have a Diagnosis
Since I started this blog, I've tried to start a post to explain my diagnosis. It's always way too long though or I get frustrated and delete it. Someone asked me a question about my diagnosis on a debate page though, and I think I was able to sum it up pretty easily. So I'm going to share it here and maybe it will finally explain (at least a little bit) my diagnosis.
I was diagnosed with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) in the fall of 2010. I don't recall what exactly made me realize, "OK, it's time to say something to someone". It had been a long, bumpy road though. I almost died the day after our 3rd child was born due to freak complications from a tubal ligation. No, not complications - more like a screw up. The doctor tied and cut an artery instead of my fallopian tube. He sewed me up and sent me to recovery without realizing his mistake. I started to bleed out and.... well, let's just say that they prepped my husband and family for the worst.
Anyway, that incident was in 2007. For three years, I was just in this haze. I resented our son, I felt like God was punishing me because I spent the whole third pregnancy not wanting it, I was very disconnected from our son and I started to drift away from the responsibilities of being a parent. I just didn't like my life anymore. I kept it bottled up though. Never told anyone. Finally, one day a friend told me to call Military OneSource (a resource center for military and their dependents). So I did, just to talk to someone. I burst into tears (the first time ever) as I told them what had happened to me. I was in counseling the next day and diagnosed with PTSD two weeks later. I stayed in counseling (one session a week) for almost a year. It helped A LOT and helped me get a firm grasp on things again.
I'm now back to loving life as a mother and as a human being as a whole. I know now that I AM worthy of living and I AM worthy of being a mother to these three beautiful children; which is what I felt I wasn't worthy of and the reason I almost died that day. I can now separate irrational thoughts, like that one, from rational ones. The irrational ones still pop into my head quite often, but I can dismiss them away more easily now.
The worst part for me is that you're never "cured" of anxiety and depression disorders. I will battle with it forever. Most days, I completely manage it. Other days, it's too much and I have to find other techniques to remove myself from situations. You definitely learn to manage and control things though. It's a glimmer of hope and what I strive for on the daily.
I was diagnosed with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) in the fall of 2010. I don't recall what exactly made me realize, "OK, it's time to say something to someone". It had been a long, bumpy road though. I almost died the day after our 3rd child was born due to freak complications from a tubal ligation. No, not complications - more like a screw up. The doctor tied and cut an artery instead of my fallopian tube. He sewed me up and sent me to recovery without realizing his mistake. I started to bleed out and.... well, let's just say that they prepped my husband and family for the worst.
Anyway, that incident was in 2007. For three years, I was just in this haze. I resented our son, I felt like God was punishing me because I spent the whole third pregnancy not wanting it, I was very disconnected from our son and I started to drift away from the responsibilities of being a parent. I just didn't like my life anymore. I kept it bottled up though. Never told anyone. Finally, one day a friend told me to call Military OneSource (a resource center for military and their dependents). So I did, just to talk to someone. I burst into tears (the first time ever) as I told them what had happened to me. I was in counseling the next day and diagnosed with PTSD two weeks later. I stayed in counseling (one session a week) for almost a year. It helped A LOT and helped me get a firm grasp on things again.
I'm now back to loving life as a mother and as a human being as a whole. I know now that I AM worthy of living and I AM worthy of being a mother to these three beautiful children; which is what I felt I wasn't worthy of and the reason I almost died that day. I can now separate irrational thoughts, like that one, from rational ones. The irrational ones still pop into my head quite often, but I can dismiss them away more easily now.
The worst part for me is that you're never "cured" of anxiety and depression disorders. I will battle with it forever. Most days, I completely manage it. Other days, it's too much and I have to find other techniques to remove myself from situations. You definitely learn to manage and control things though. It's a glimmer of hope and what I strive for on the daily.
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