Parenting PhD

I used to work in the medical field.  I went to nursing school and spent countless hours studying and trying to understand everything that that entails.  Unfortunately, I didn't finish, but still stayed in the medical field.  I worked in geriatrics taking care of the elderly.  I dabbled in wound care and administration of prescription medication.  Eventually though, the Lord blessed me with the opportunity to be a stay-at-home Mom and I rode that adventure for a long time; leaving the medical field behind. 

Through parenting though, I have realized it's a lot like the medical field.  Just like they call it "practicing medicine" because you spend your entire career doing everything you've been taught but also continuously learning and growing - so do you "practice parenting" for 18+ years.  I'm only at year 14, but I still learn something new every single day.  The things that worked when they were younger don't work now.  I have to constantly keep practicing, learning as I go, and using my mistakes as reference for future successes.  And just like in the medical field - lives are at stake. 

Yet I sit here wondering how many parenting ailments we encounter and put all our efforts into treating the symptoms rather than digging deep to find the root of the problem.  In the medical field, for example, if a patient has a fever we know that that means the body is fighting off some kind of something.  An infection or a virus, perhaps.  There's something that was introduced to our body that our body recognizes as "foreign", so it raises it's temperature to try to kill it.  What do we do?  We take tylenol to reduce our fever.  Which is great, but that's not helping the SOURCE of the fever.  We've now stopped the fever, but possibly enabled the source to continue to worsen.... until our fever comes back and we have to start all over again. 

How often do we do that in our parenting?  We see an unwanted behavior, and we just want it to go away.  We do something, anything, to stop the unwanted behavior.  The symptom.  Sometimes thus enabling the unwanted behavior.  While in some instances, we MUST 'reduce the fever' for the safety and sanity of everyone, we can't just leave it there.  We have to find the root of the issue.  WHY are they acting the way they are acting?  We can give them candy to be good, or hand them an electronic device to keep them quiet, or give in to their demands to stop the tantrum; but all we've done is treated the symptom without even touching the source of it. 

I deal with a lot of bad attitudes in my household right now.  My own sometimes as often as the kids'.  I know what to do to stop the symptom, but don't always take the time and effort necessary to address the root of the problem.  I'm fully aware of how easy it is to just give in and quiet the immediate craziness, but all that's doing is leaving the door wide open for more instances of the same in the future.  It's exhausting, but we have to take the time to treat the source of the issue every single time if at all possible.  In the end, that will cure the issue in a quicker amount of time than if we just continuously pacify it.  So that we can then move on to the next issue that will inevitably arise.  I don't think any of us are getting our parenting PhD anytime soon, but we can keep practicing every single day and getting a little closer.  We have VERY important patients and their lives are at stake.  Who they are as adults will reflect, in at least some small way, on how we treated them as children.  Did we just treat the symptoms or did we teach them the cure their ailments? 

Front Yard Mission

A wonderful woman came to speak at our church on Sunday. She's a missionary called to serve in Africa. She talked about the ever present "debate" of foreign missions versus local missions. People tend to ask why we need to go halfway around the world to tell people about Jesus when there are people right next door that need to hear about Jesus. Which I can understand, because it's certainly true. Not everyone will be called to foreign missions, and that's fine, but she asked the question, "So what are you doing?". If you acknowledge that there are people right next door that need to hear about Jesus, what are you doing to make sure they hear it?

We must be just as intentional about local missions as we are about foreign missions. It's okay if you don't feel called to go to Africa or Honduras or Asia..... as long as you are answering His call to be on mission where you currently are. This year, I'm spending a lot of time researching, studying, and finding resources for people who feel exactly that - like they are on mission right where they are. For those of us with kids, that means our own household is a mission field. It is our responsibility to raise children in a Christ-centered home.  It is our responsibility to lead by example, training them up in the way they should go, and praying for them every step of the way.  As parents, within our own home, there is a great responsibility to make disciples of our own children. 

As adults in general, we have a great opportunity to be on mission within our neighborhoods and communities.  I can't walk up and down my street and tell you much about my neighbors.  Nor could they tell others much about me.  That's a problem.  How are we spreading the good news of Jesus Christ if we don't do much more than a friendly wave or quick nod of the head before hurrying back inside our home?  We must be more intentional than that.  We must step outside our comfort zones, outside of our yards, and GO.  If that means go to the end of the block rather than go to the other side of the world, then so be it, but do it with purpose.  Be intentional.  Be bold.  Be a light for others to see.  It doesn't take much to strike up a conversation with a neighbor, it doesn't take long to build a friendship, and that all opens the door for sharing some of the most important, significant news they'll ever hear.  We cannot sit at church waiting for non-believers to come to us and call that "local missions".  We must go to them and meet them where they are.