I've seen so much talk lately about "I just want to be happy" or "do what makes you happy" and "I just want my children to grow up to be happy". It makes me sad to think that happiness is the ultimate goal and strive for so many people. Don't get me wrong, I love being happy. I'm happy a lot of the time. Happiness isn't a bad thing. It just seems so shallow and vain to me. It's such a superficial feeling. It's fleeting. Happiness never lasts for long and then we're just on to the next thing trying to find happiness again. There are such greater goals and achievements in life than just being happy. Any ol' schmuck can walk around saying he's "happy". It's the why and the how that are much more important to me.
Do I want my kids to be happy? Of course. But I want them to be "happy" because they feel invested in and truly loved. I want them to feel "happy" because they are doing something with their life that positively impacts the world. I don't want them walking through life seeking happiness and missing out on truly living. Because the fact of the matter is that so many things we do in life WON'T make us happy. Not in the moment. The kids are going to have struggles and obstacles. Their friends are going to be mean and spread rumors. They are going to fail at something and question themselves. They are going to have no idea who they are or where they are going in life. They are going to have to get a job, pay bills, deal with obnoxious co-workers and will probably be fired at some point. All of those things are going to make them very unhappy. I don't want them to go through those moments simply striving to find happiness. What I want them to do is go through those moments and learn valuable lessons. To learn and grow and overcome. I want them to understand love, forgiveness and joy in the midst of those tough times rather than just focusing on how happy they are on a scale of 1 to 10. If they maneuver through everything they'll encounter in life with the mindset of "I just want to be happy", I genuinely believe they will be missing so much! Happiness? It comes and goes. True joy? Acceptance? Love? Those are the things that will last a lifetime and help them overcome so much.
Do I want to be happy? Sure I do. At what cost though? How many people, on a daily basis, avoid certain places, discussions or people because it's difficult? Because it doesn't make them happy? How many people hide behind what is comfortable and convenient because it makes them happy? How often do we stay inside our comfort zones where we feel safe and "happy", and in the process miss out on growth and experiences? "I just want to be happy, so I'm not going to make any sacrifices that might make me unhappy (but would radically change my whole life for the better)". When did that become the norm? I don't say any of that to wag a shameful finger at others, but I say it to myself. I'm so guilty of this. I stay in my "happy place" and get content with being happy rather than pushing myself to be more. To do more. To feel more.
Yes, I like feeling happy, but that shallow feeling is NOT what I long for. I don't want to be happy.. I want to be joyful. I want to know unconditional love. I want peace and kindness to radiate from the core of who I am. The things that bring happiness often times come and go. The things that bring joy and love into my life though..... those are the things that can last a lifetime. Some may feel it's just simply a play on words and "happiness" is no different than "joy", but when you experience the difference for yourself, there is no denying the vast difference. I have found some of the greatest joys of my life in the midst of a situation that most definitely didn't make me happy.
I've even talked to others about how happy I am in life. Even I miss that mark sometimes. I am happy. I really am. I do want people to feel happiness in their life. I want my kids to be happy as often as possible. It's deeper than that though. I'm not just happy. I'm not just superficially rolling through life with a smile on my face because everything is going my way. I'm joyful. I have reasons to smile, to keep going, to do what needs to be done even when things are difficult and trying. Happiness doesn't have anything to do with the former. Joy does. Love does. Faith does. Hope does. Happiness can't do half of what those other things can do.
